By ROWENA PLETT

Staff writer

Many church pastors make an extra effort to help young couples get their marriage off to a good start.

Pastor Lori Schwilling of Hillsboro United Methodist Church said she talks to couples about what constitutes a Christian marriage and the role Christ plays in it.

She also reviews the wedding vows and ceremony to help them understand the seriousness of the step they are taking.

“I don’t actually counsel couples,” she said. “I ask questions and encourage them to talk about things with each other that they might not like to talk about on their own.”

She encourages them to find out how they communicate, how to handle finances, and how to resolve conflicts.

“Hopefully, they can avoid some of the stumbling blocks that lie ahead,” she said. “My greatest joy is helping couples to realize they are not just two people getting married but that Christ is present with them. It’s like a three-stranded cord that is not easily broken.

“But one thing I’ve learned over the years is that I can’t predict the success of a marriage. That’s between the couple and the Lord. I just try to be as helpful as I can.”

Pastor Carl Helm at Marion Christian Church has a master’s degree in family counseling. He said he does a lot of counseling with couples who have problems in their marriage and come to him for help.

He begins by spending an hour separately with each one. This gives him more wisdom in guiding the discussion when they are together.

“I can help them address the issues they raise,” he said.

“The greatest joy is when I see people make changes that lead them to emotional and spiritual places they’ve never been. It doesn’t always work. Probably my greatest feeling of failure is when a divorce is filed.”